Arranging care for someone at home is hard — you don't have to work it out alone.

They helped us see which parts of the night were actually risky, so we asked for waking-night cover instead of guessing. My mother settled, and I could finally sleep before work.

I was arranging everything from Singapore. The guides told me exactly what to write down and who the local decision-maker should be. It made the calls with my father much calmer.

I did not realise how close to burnout I was until I read the respite page. Two afternoons a week gave me back enough to keep going without feeling guilty.

The discharge checklist caught the things the hospital rushed through — the transfer method, the bathroom setup. My mother came home to a house that was actually ready for her.

What helped most was separating what a caregiver could do from what needed a nurse. We stopped over-asking one person to do everything and the days got steadier.

My father refused help for months. The advice on starting small and letting him choose actually worked where our arguing never did. He now accepts the morning visit.